How to Prepare for Bioshock Infinite

So Bioshock Infinite comes out March 26th, and while we have our collector’s edition copy pre-ordered, there are some things it feels like might be helpful in preparing for the game. Gearing up for Bioshock Infinite? Or wondering what all the hubbub is about? Read on!

ALTERNATE BLOG POST TITLE: Trailer Watch: Bioshock Infinite

NOTE: I’m pretty sure this is not going to be a very serious post. But I hope you enjoy anyways. Onwards!

Read up on your Columbia history

Do you remember Columbia from History class? You know, the flying city that disappeared, dropping pieces in the Alps decades later? You don’t? Well, let’s brush up on that now!

Really, we should be fully studied up on science. Maybe some telekinesis. Explosives. Firearms. Here’s some more old timey learning for you!

Learn to fly

If we’re going to be dealing with the Songbird, in a flying city, we’re going to need to know how to fly. So a few thoughts.

  • Douglas Adams suggested that the secret to flying is jumping at the ground and missing. Practice this!
  • Get a Sky Hook – most of the gameplay trailers show the main character, Booker, flying around on a Sky Hook. Next best thing to flying, right?
  • If you can’t find a Sky Hook – there’s a Sky Hook available on XBox for your avatar, that’s like the same thing, right?

If you want to be ready to be doing some Sky Hook action, try maybe Disney Land or Six Flags. Seriously, that looks like it’s going to be insane. I don’t think they realize: when there is a way I can make my character fall to my doom, I usually do.

what is Columbia if not another ark?

What’s that, build another ark? So 300 cubits long, 50 wide, and 30 high…

However, the ark is already built: Columbia. And the action starts in 1912: but pieces are found in the 1980s. Is that time travel I smell? After all, 1912 places Bioshock Infinite squarely before Bioshock 1 or 2. But then… also after? If it’s time travel, and we’re going to be doing some flying… well, where we’re going, we don’t need roads.


We could really use a vehicle. Or maybe a giant metal robot suit? But where would we find one of those?

Well, okay, if we’re not Tony Stark, where do we find one of those?

Well, okay, there's this one... from the Matrix. Found on

Well, okay, there’s this one… from the Matrix. Found on

But no, no, okay, there may actually be a lot of giant mechs in science fiction. But I was thinking more along the lines of, say, this:

Holly and I actually haven’t finished Bioshock 1 or played Bioshock 2 yet, so the differences this game seems to have from the previous ones is really nice for us; we can dive right in without having to feel like we need to know the plot. And escaping the enclosed claustrophobia and darkness of the previous games might be refreshing… Because when you feel like you need to play the game only when the sun is out, and you live in Alaska, this can prove to be problematic…

Then again, the open skies are only better if you can fly. So I better go get cracking…



One response to “How to Prepare for Bioshock Infinite

  1. Pingback: Bioshock Infinite and the Statute of Limitations | Comparative Geeks

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